Thursday, October 21, 2010

Painting Rebirth and Renewal

I am happy to report my new working schedule is really working out well.  I am getting a lot of work completed and other work attended to without feeling like I am neglecting one thing for another.  I have completed recent custom sculpture orders.  I have written over forty pages of creating writing and completed tons of research for my novel.  This schedule affirms my dedication to a creative life, and I hope will help continue to guide me toward a full-time career in making art.

Lion and Lamb custom order by DoAn

I also made some wonderful progress on the Etain painting.  Something powerful happened recently as I worked on the piece.  I am not sure if it is the new working schedule, the return to painting, the changing season, or a combination of all these, but I really felt the energy of rebirth and renewal coursing through me as I painted.  I began with the leaves, painting, then scrubbing out the paint, going over them with a yellow wash.  Then I moved on to Etain's face. As I painted her, and her features emerged, I reflected on the many changes that I have gone through in the course of my life, and how many more I have to experience.  Each wash that revealed more and more of Etain's face, brought me deeper into my own experience of renewal and how it seems this experience always comes out of the darkest of places, often in a flash of light.  I have found myself wallowing in darkness, a slow, winding descent into despair, for what seems an eternity, and then, when the time for change comes, like the igniting spark of Brigid's fire, I am in a new place, inspired and shaking from the newness of my perspective.

Each time I work on these goddess-energy paintings, I think, this is the one that speaks the most strongly to me.  First, I thought it was Boann, who dragged me through an emotional hell, then The Morrigan, who made me face some of the darker aspects of myself, to Brigid who lifted me with the inspiration of a life fueled by creativity and self-empowerment, and now with Etain, I think, this, yes, THIS is who I am! The one who is constantly being reborn, reawakened, alive to the newness all around me.  I am realizing that each painting is the most powerful piece at the moment that I am painting them, because I am experiencing the energy they represent as I create them. Once I complete Etain, I know the next painting will be THE painting best representing my life and where I am.

This is precisely why I paint and why it is so difficult and necessary for me to do it.  This is why whatever it was that spoke to me at OAC in Missouri telling me to explore painting as a spiritual path and look to the sculpture as a way to support myself while remaining creative. I have no idea where these paintings and the future paintings will take me, but as I experience this transformative energy, I know it is something I must do.  Each time I sit down to paint, and then step away and observe as a witness and not a painter, I know I have connected to something much bigger than myself.

I am thrilled to continue and see where all this takes me.  I am even more thrilled to be sharing this journey with you. 

DoAn
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