Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Walking the Spiral: Etain


Following work with Brigid, the inner spark is ignited, and the heat of growth rises.  Even in the stark, cold of winter, the dormant seeds of last summer and fall are preparing for an incredible explosion of life.

The painting of Etain: Rebirth and Renewal explores this amazing process.  Plants burst from soil, vines rise, and curl in spirals, sometimes growing so fast it can almost be witnessed.  The inner light then becomes the outer light of the sun, when the inner state and outer state become one.

Caterpillers hatch from eggs, feed incessantly on plants, growing at a rapid rate, until finally wrapping themselves into a cocoon in prepartion to transform its body into a butterfly.  Every stage of the caterpillar is difficult and hard work.  Growing rapidly requires tremendous energy, which is fueled by the caterpillar's ravenous appetite.  Using silk made from its own body to wrap itself up in a cocoon is a feat of amazing skill.  Inside the cocoon the caterpillar literally dissolves, as it remakes its body into something entirely different.  This in itself is a remarkable and astounding act.  Then, the cocoon breaks open and out emerges a winged being, prepared to take to the air after it pumps its shriveled appendages with blood.

Examples of this kind of rebirth and renewal occurs all around us all the time.  The caterpillar is one of the most illustrative and readily available examples of this process.  Renewal and rebirth is often connected with growth and positive ideas.  But, this is deceptive, because renewal and rebirth is extraordinarily difficult.  Etain's story is one of rebirth, over and over, into a multitude of lives and different forms, many of which were difficult and tragic.  Rebirth and renewal can be even more difficult than the descent into darkness. 

With each rebirth, we are shedding the old skin, we are letting go of old ways, we are becoming something different.  The caterpillar loses chewing mouth parts for a long tubular straw.  It no longer eats, but drinks. Some butterflies are born with no mouthparts and live the rest of their short lives without eating at all.  There is no going back once this transformation occurs.  Life becomes hell when we try to go back or hold on to the old ways.  Imagine a butterfly with no mouthparts trying to chew a leaf!  Rebirth and renewal is really a death.  It is a necessary death that one must experience in order to grow.  Our culture does not prepare us for this concept, and many of us struggle against this difficult process, essentially becoming a mouthless butterfly trying to chew.

The process of creating this painting was quite difficult, almost as challenging as the emotional turmoil brought up by the painting Boann.  It was working with the energies of Etain that made me realize how challenging going through rebirth really is.  I had entered with the illusion that this would be a light, airy painting, almost easy to complete after the previous three.  This illusion was quickly shattered as I found my own life and career path being challenged.  Soon after completing the painting I found that I was being faced with letting go of a lot of old, outmoded ways of being, many of which that I realized I was reluctant to give up.  But, holding on to these old ways has only invited a personal hell that had begun to become unbearable.  Now it is time to climb to the top of the vine and let the currents lift me up into a new life.  The void of the sky is unknown.  There is great fear rising in me.  But what butterfly, when spreading its wings, questions the lift off?  The new life will happen, but only when the old life is forsaken.

The first cycle of paintings is complete.   Beginning with the upheaval of emotional waters, which carried me down into the darkest earthy depths of inner exploration, where the ember of insight and creativity are sparked to light and life, pushing me upward into the air of rebirth.  A new cycle now begins, bringing me back to the waters, similar to where I began, but not the same place.

In this next cycle, I will explore the masculine energies associated with this spiral journey.  To do so will require a lot of letting go, a peeling away of expectations, a new perspective will emerge as I swallow my fear, step off the vine and let my new wings lift me.

 DoAn
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Walking the Spiral: Brigid: Igniting the Inner Fire

Within the deepest reaches of the inner darkness, there exists the smallest ember.  It is a tiny spark of light, that once given the proper fuel, has the potential to ignite into a blazing fire.

Brigid, the ancient goddess of creativity, inspiration, poetry, metal-working and healing, is a goddess of fire, but not the kind of fire made of flames.  This fire is the divine spark, the ember at the core that ignites the body, mind and spirit into life.  It can be related to the Kundalini energy rising up from the base of the spine to the crown of the head, activating power centers throughout the body. Brigid is associated with the dawn, because, like the sun rising out of the darkness, we hold in ourselves the potential to rise above our own inner dark.

This painting came after a long period of introspection.  I was facing a challenge in regard to the direction of my art and was contemplating my ability to make a living from my paintings while following the spiritual path they were taking me on.  Could I do it? Was it right to do so?  Working on "The Morrigan" lead me to the darkness of this introspection.  I learned that I had a connection to fiber as a creative medium.  I developed skills in making sculpture from wool, which allowed me to continue making an income through my artwork, while I could let the paintings reveal themselves in their own time without the added pressures to produce and market them.  Working on "Brigid: igniting the inner fire" lead me from the darkness of uncertainty and fear out into the light.

DoAn
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Walking the Spiral: The Morrigan

The Morrigan: The Dark Mother

I recently listened to the audiobook The Creative Fire by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, in which she discusses the cycle of creativity.

Most people think of the artist as being moved by flashes of inspiration or asking for a blessing by the muse.  Estes explains that creativity moves in a continuing pattern of rising and falling.  This has been my experience of creativity.

After I completed the painting "Boann: transformation of a goddess" I felt I had reached a zenith.  I felt inspired by this new insight into my artwork and I felt wiser and more aware as a result as well.  It wasn't long before I felt a slow decline from this highpoint.  My creative work slowed. While I felt more connected to the spirit of the work than ever, my connection to the act of painting felt strained.  Suddenly, that light of inspiration grew dim.

The Morrigan is a dark figure in Irish Myth, probably even predating the arrival of the Celts in Ireland.  She was a goddess of fertility, the controller of death itself, and later became associated with war.  How could a fertility goddess be connected to death?  It seemed strange to me at first. But it doesn't take much introspection to realize how growth is preceded by death and decay.  Land is made fertile by the decayed plants and animals that enrich the soil.  A fertile mind is enriched by the knowledge absorbed. A fertile body is nourished by the breaking down of nutrient-rich foods taken in.

The creative process is likewise nourished by a period of decline, a period of darkness that is the opposite of that outward expression of the flash of inspiration.  Without this period of quiet, without this symbolic death, the creative expression loses fertility and richness.  Estes uses the Demeter/Persephone myth from the Ancient Greeks as an excellent metaphor for the creative cycle, even making astute distinctions between the way the myth differed in Pre-Helenistic and Post-Helenistic Greece.

This analysis of the creative cycle can be used by artist and non-artist alike.  For we all go through a period of darkness in varying levels throughout our lives.  From waking at daybreak, after having slept in the dark of night, to the coming of spring after the death of Fall and Winter's sleep, to the ups and downs of any one of life's situations.  "The Morrigan: The Dark Mother" taught me that there is a huge difference in outcome when one embraces the coming dark, rather than fearing it and trying to push it away.  No matter what, the dark times will come; we have no choice.  But we can choose how to move through the dark times.  We can enter with awareness and grace, coming out of the experience like the spring sprouts bursting from seeds planted in the fall, with determination and filled with the joy of creation itself.

DoAn
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Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Walking the Spiral: Boann

Back in 2006 I began a series of paintings inspired by Irish mythology.  I intended the paintings to explore the ancient Celtic gods and goddesses through a more modern and personal eye.  What I didn't realize was that this series would set me on a personal, spiritual journey that has forever changed my relationship to painting.   Over the next four blog posts I will share my journey, as it has unfolded so far, in relation to the painting of the first four pieces of the series.

Boann: Transformation

Boann: Transformation of a Goddess

The first painting in the series depicts the transformation of the goddess Boann into the river Boyne, after she had unwittingly released the waters from a sacred well. The creation of this painting came out of a difficult time for me emotionally.  I didn't realize at the time that my relationship to my art was taking a more spiritual path. Like Boann as she was torn limb from limb by the raging waters she released from a sacred well, I felt parts of my inner self being stripped away.  Intense feelings of sadness then rage surged through me.  Many times these emotions had no context. I couldn't make sense of what they stemmed from.  I did, however, have a sense that these emotions were connected to the collective unconscious.  There was no particular reason I came to this understanding, it was something I just knew.

In the painting Boann looks out from the canvas to the viewer, her gaze squinted.  She is looking at the physical world and the spirit world at the same time.  As she loses her body, she begins to merge with the spirit.  I also began to understand that spirit was influencing my painting process.  Once I let go, realizing that nothing was going to hold back the waves of emotion crashing upon me, I found rays of light, like those that streak down upon the Salmon of Knowledge.  Here, the Salmon holds a hazel nut from one of the sacred trees that grew around the well.  Boann's curiosity not only freed the waters of the well, but the five Salmon of knowledge which is obtained by the senses.  The Salmon, having fed on the magical nuts of the hazel trees, possessed the wisdom of the world and inadvertently brought this wisdom to mankind.

I gained a kind of wisdom as a result of this painting. I had a deeper understanding of who I was, what I needed and a clearer sense of purpose.  This kind of wisdom often can only be gained by a severe and painful stripping away of one's ego.  Boann, who had gazed into the well out of rebellion for having been barred from it, paid the ultimate price, but also evolved into something greater.  Sometimes, sacrifice is necessary for growth.  This painting taught me that great sacrifices were ahead, but they would lead me toward a deeper knowledge of myself and the path I was embarking on.

Once I completed this painting, I felt scoured clean. I was raw and open, but it was necessary in order to approach the next painting, which was leading me down into a kind of darkness I had never encountered before.

Next, The Morrigan.

DoAn
Help in the creation of art, please consider donating! Just click on the link below:
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DoAn Art is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the purposes of  DoAn Art must be made payable to Fractured Atlas and are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.
 
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All artwork, photos and text © Copyright 2005-2011 DoAn Art (Antony Galbraith) unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Antony Galbraith.

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