Entering the Cave

Horses from Chauvet Cave

Last June I went to see the film Cave of Forgotten Dreams a documentary by Werner Herzog about the cave art of Chauvet Cave in France.  I knew when I watched this film that it affected me deeply, but I had no idea that it would be part of a catalyst that would change me.  

As I sit here on the bank of the "river" that I dragged myself out from (see last post), I have been examining my art, my life, spirituality and how they all intertwine.  It has brought me back to Chauvet Cave and the feelings that viewing the art found within evoked.  Chauvet Cave contains the earliest known cave art, but it also contains art that spans several thousand years, which means that this cave was an active creative center far longer than anything we have known.

The art inside is astounding and makes the term "primitive man" insulting and inaccurate. The work found in the cave is masterful and powerful, even when viewed on film.  These are not mere scribblings made by a child-like mind. Each stroke is sure, confident and representative of the creature it depicts.  I can only imagine what it must be like to see this work in person.  The people in the film seemed deeply moved from being in the presence of this work.

I began reading Cave Paintings and the Human Spirit by David Whitley and it is further fueling this inner change.  It is difficult to articulate what it is that is changing in me, as it takes place, but I know that is has to do with this fusion of art, life, and spirit.

We know hardly anything about the people that made this art, but it is clear that there is a powerful, spiritual element.  When I look at the paintings, I feel as though I am seeing with my heart and soul, I feel something deep within me stir and long for a connection that I have yet to fully experience.

I know that while I take in the view of the "river" from here upon the shore, while the many people surge by, I am experiencing a transformation from inside out.  My creative output is strained, but I wouldn't call it blocked.  It is like the pause one must take between a deep inhalation and the long slow exhalation. I am finding this pause, a good place to be right now.

DoAn
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Inspiration

Inspiration for my art comes from many places.  Sometimes it is very clear, striking like a lightning bolt, with intensity.  Other times, it simmers slowly, emerging over a long period of time.  Sometimes a passage in a book, a scene from a film, music, or an experience in nature can be the catalyst for inspiration. 

The painting Rainbow Birds (pictured here) came from a flash of inspiration while watching birds at a bird feeder.  The image came quickly and creating the painting was fairly quick (for me).  This painting, also inspired me to explore paintings based on the chakras, so I guess I can even inspire myself!

Lately, the music of Tori Amos has been stirring something in me.  I have been listening to Night of Hunters, her most recent album. It is a wonderful fusion of contemporary music and classical.  The narrative of the songs connect and detail a woman's "dark night of the soul".  In the course of the evening she meets faery spirits and travels through time and consciousness to arrive in the morning a changed person.  I am connecting deeply to this story and to the creativity of the project Tori Amos put together.  When I listen to this, I realize I want to create something this powerful, meaningful and transformative. 

Since July of 2010 I have been going through a kind of minor "dark night of the soul" myself.  Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, I fell out of harmony with my art making.  I felt foggy, disconnected and rattled to the core of my being.  The beliefs and practices that fueled my art practice in the last five years or so no longer seemed to be working.  I knew something needed to change, but I didn't know what it was.  While in Randolph, Vermont, in a sort of self-imposed retreat, I thought about how our society's push toward constant production and growth, on materialism and turning everything into a commodity leaves us all, especially the earth, depleted.  I saw myself swimming desperately against a strong current, and realized that I have been swimming hard against that current for years.  I believed if I stopped, I would get swept away and lose myself.  But, during that retreat in the mountains, I considered the idea of just getting out.  I don't need to give in to the current, nor do I need to keep fighting it.  It was time to leave it altogether.  However, leaving the current has left me in a very strange place.  I knew that it had become terribly urgent that I attend to things that nurture my soul as an individual, but, as I enter midlife, I also understood I needed to connect on a societal level.  How do I do this, if I am outside the current? I was in a dark and uncertain place. And here I have been ever since. 

As I contemplate inspiration, I see that I must go deeper.  Things are stirring, but my sight is clouded.  As an artist, I think sometimes it is necessary to live outside the current.  It offers a perspective that is unique, but necessary for those who continue to stay in the flow.  Perhaps it is a matter of adjusting my eyes to the new atmosphere.  It will take me a little time and my work may slow up a bit, but I think this is fueled by the long simmering kind of inspiration.  The vision will come and when it does, I hope it will offer a unique vision that serves society in a healing and transformative way.

DoAn

PS: I will be sharing my process of this spiritual exploration and how it relates to my art on my private blog: DoAn Art Studio.  If you are interested in supporting my journey and would like to follow my artistic development, please consider donating.  Monthly donations, in any amount, will grant you access to DoAn Art Studio blog.  Donations can be made by clicking on the image link below:

Help in the creation of art, please consider donating! Just click on the link below:
 
DoAn Art is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the purposes of DoAn Art must be made payable to Fractured Atlas and are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.  
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Finding Light in Dark

I've been listening to Welcome Brigid by Katy Taylor. A collection of songs and prayers about Brigid and Mary.  It has helped me find a calm point during a chaotic time. 

As I write this today, it is Imbolc, the holiday that celebrates the goddess Brigid.  In ancient times, Brigid was important for she represented the return of the sun and warmth to the land.  Sheep begin lambing at this time and people attributed it to Brigit. 

Today, our lifestyles are less dependent on the timing of such things.  With the changing of the climate we are going through, it seems that the traditional time of celebrating Imbolc may need to change.  However, the spirit of the Brigid still has relevance in our modern lives.  We still have a need to honor wisdom, perfection, intelligence, creativity, poetic eloquence, healing, mystical knowledge and many of the other qualities the Brigid embodies.  Taking a moment this time a year to reflect on these qualities is one of the best ways to invite them into our lives.

Here is a poem by Lady Gregory, which was made into a song by Katy Taylor:

Poem to Brigit

It is what Brigit had a mind for
Lasting goodness that was not hidden
It is what Brigit had a mind for

Tending sheep and rising early
Hospitality toward good men
It is she keeps everyone
Who is in straits and in dangers

It is she puts down sicknesses
It is she quiets the voice of the waves
And the anger of the great sea

She is the queen of the south
She is the mother of the flocks
She is the Mary of the Gael

Happy Imbolc to everyone.  I wish that wisdom, healing and creativity finds a way through the dark to light your soul.

DoAn

Poem text: Lady Gregory from A Book of Saints and Wonders, c. 1972, Colin Smythe Ltd, UK—Irish stories, orig. pub. in 1906


Help in the creation of art, please consider donating! Just click on the link below:
 
DoAn Art is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the purposes of DoAn Art must be made payable to Fractured Atlas and are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.  
 
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All artwork, photos and text © Copyright 2005-2012 DoAn Art (Antony Galbraith) unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Antony Galbraith.

Embracing Trickster as Teacher

Many will agree that life often throws us curve balls, but often the purpose is misunderstood.  Some of us feel as though it is personal, like the universe is out to get us.  Others might say it is a result of karma we have created, just cause and effect in action.  In any case, there is often a fair degree of judging of the situation.  I have come see life's curve balls as opportunities and as teaching moments. This comes after many many years of seeing life through a negative lens, of personalizing all obstacles as some kind of divine punishment.  Thinking this way prevented me from transcending the experience and growing.

About a month ago I experienced a moment of realization that confirmed my shift in view.  I was knitting a sleeve of a sweater, one that offered a huge challenge and required starting it over at least five times.  Finally I finished the sleeve only to discover that I had knitting the sleeve incorrectly and had to start the whole thing over again.  Surprisingly I didn't get mad, I wasn't even frustrated this time.  I sat back and looked at this sleeve as a symbol of my life, for in the last five years (and probably much longer) I have gone through a continual cycle of starting, moving forward, stopping, starting over, moving forward, stopping, starting over on and on.  Back in October I was in a stopping phase and starting to get fed up.  Why was this happening all the time? What was I missing that had me caught in this loop?

Then my grandmother became gravely ill.  My family gathered together to be with her as she died, only to find she recovered.  It was both a blessing and a curse.  She was ready to go.  Her life before had grown challenging as she is legally blind, mostly deaf and physically limited.  Her very independent life was shrinking rapidly.  I stayed with her for a time, helping her regain some sense of independence, while being nearby to assist in the things she could no longer manage on her own.  I expected this help I offered would be temporary, but as I spent more time with her,  I felt as though I was doing something very important.  I realized I wanted to continue to help her and be with her as she prepared for the inevitable.  It was a huge curve ball. 

I wondered what does this mean for my art? Suddenly my time is not my own. My strict schedule of working on my art and researching, my quiet time and alone time all went out the window.  How would I be able to create my art? A fellow artist, Helena Nelson Reed, suggested that this work as a caretaker was my creative work for the moment.  The Dark Being drawings and paintings may actually be a preparing for this period of time.  She had suggested some time ago that I explore the Trickster as a sacred teacher and she repeated this recommendation.  So I started to look at the role of Trickster in my life.

Trickster has been present in my life for quite a long time.  Curve balls are probably thrown by Trickster.  I understood Trickster as mischievous, a prankster, unorthodox, maybe a little crazy and sometimes mean. But Trickster as a sacred teacher is much more than an annoyance, from what I understand Trickster can be very powerful.   Trickster lives in the realm of transition, of what may or may not be, the border regions of life, death, and afterlife.  The term psychopomp can be applied to Trickster.  The caretaker who helps the person transition from life to death does the work of sacred Trickster. 

I started understand how Trickster was manifesting in my life.  Currently, as I took on the role of caretaker for my grandmother, but even before that in creating pet portrait sculptures in memoriam of beloved pets.  I looked back and realized how much I worked at living outside the norm, not accepting status quo, asking questions, pushing boundaries, etc.  This all was happening without my conscious awareness.  However, living the Trickster path without awareness meant that lessons come with a lot of difficulty.  Hence the repeating cycles of starting and starting over!

Now I am working on exploring the role of sacred Trickster and how to establish a better relationship.  My life is about to go through a major upheaval, yet again, but I understand that this is part of what Trickster asks and having not really listened before, I have to accept some level of discomfort for the time being.  When I don't listen to the lessons and instructions of Trickster, Trickster resorts to playing hardball and sometimes hardball means throwing curves.

One thing that Trickster has been asking of me for years is to focus my creative work as a spiritual path.  I have talked about this for some time and I have worked toward this steadily since 2004.  However, I was not committing fully to this, believing that my creative spiritual path was about the products I created.  Instead, I am realizing that the products are only the side results, while the true creative spiritual practice comes in the forging of the path itself.  For most artists, it is important to focus on a particular medium or type of art.  Some might move comfortable between a few different mediums, but even within those mediums there is a connection of style, expression or theme.  I struggled with being pulled in many directions and confusing that with being distracted and unfocused.  I tried to narrow down to two mediums, painting and sculpture. I tried to push fiber arts to a hobby, believing I should limit myself.  However, I was not listening to the spirit calling me and letting myself explore the path that was unfolding. I got hooked focusing on the products alone.  This became another factor in this unending loop of starting over.

During this time of caretaking, when my time is disrupted and focus is challenged, I will be exploring how Trickster can be a teacher and guide for me.  Not having the time I am used to for working on my art will allow me to experiment more. I can focus on the act of creating and not dwell so much on the products for a time.  Breaking structure to allow new insights in is another teaching method of Trickster.  I am taking a deep breath and preparing for a lot of work and rework ahead.

DoAn
Help in the creation of art, please consider donating! Just click on the link below:
 
DoAn Art is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the purposes of DoAn Art must be made payable to Fractured Atlas and are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.  
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All artwork, photos and text © Copyright 2005-2012 DoAn Art (Antony Galbraith) unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Antony Galbraith.

Happy Holidays!

Brigid Illuminated by DoAn

I apologize for the long silence here on the blog.  A family emergency has demanded the majority of my time in the last two months and will likely continue for some time to come.  Fortunately, the major emergency has eased and now it is a matter of managing a routine within a limited schedule as I act as full time care taker for an ailing relative. After the holidays have passed, I will begin sharing with you some observations of my creative process during this time of upheaval.

Until then, please enjoy the holidays.  Take some time to pause, reflect on the passing year, give thanks and prepare for the new!

Thanks to all of you for your support and encouragement in the past year.  I think 2012 will prove to be an interesting year creatively and I look forward to sharing with you my new creations.
Happy Holidays!

DoAn
Help in the creation of art, please consider donating! Just click on the link below:
 
DoAn Art is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the purposes of DoAn Art must be made payable to Fractured Atlas and are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.  
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All artwork, photos and text © Copyright 2005-2011 DoAn Art (Antony Galbraith) unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Antony Galbraith.

Using Myth to Map the Way

October mist in Braintree, VT

 Over the last week and a half I have been taking some time for introspection as I have come, yet again, to a crossroads.  Before me lay several paths and choices for how to proceed with my creative life, career and day to day existence.  Some paths highlight one option more than another, others are a mixture, but each with a slightly difference emphasis.  These choices are not just metaphorical, as I recently have been bombarded with offers that will lead me down one of the paths before me.  Which offer should I consider? What if the path I want isn't one of the ones with a tantalizing offer? Should I be pragmatic or idealistic? How do I choose?

I agonized for a week over these options but all I ended up with was a tense stomach, headache, sleepless nights and more confusion.  Then I decided to seek a different way to examining my life and the road before me.  I turned to Joseph Campbell's model of the Hero's Journey.  Campbell expouses the theory of a monomyth that runs through every human culture, a sort of archetypal blue print for myth and mythic understanding.  While I personally think he tends to over simplify cultural myths, I do think that there is a validity to his assertion of the importance of a living mythic tradition in daily life...even the contemporary and supposed enlightened and informed life we are living now.

In the Hero's Journey Campbell describes the life journey in three primary chapters with subsections within each chapter.  So the outline would look something like the following:

I. Departure: a. the call; b. refusal; c. divine aid; f. the first threshold; g. the belly of the whale

II. Initiation; a. The road of trials; b. meeting the divine Feminine; c. temptations; d. atonement with the Masculine; e. apotheosis; f. the treasure

III. Return: a. refusal to return; b. magic flight; c. rescue; d. return threshold; e. master of two worlds; f. freedom

Each section and subsection of the Hero's Journey correlates to the notion of an archetypal pattern that each human goes through during the course of his or her life.  To fully understand each part of the journey, I recommend reading Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell or one of the many companion books that discuss the Hero's Journey.  There have also been explorations using the Tarot in a similar way, as well as other traditions, but the point of this blog entry is to share how I used the Hero's Journey to help me in my own life journey.

In the past, myth and rituals gave support and strength in life.  Today, without any solid living mythic stories informing us and the lack of sacred rituals to help guide us through the stages of life, we are left fending for ourselves (sometimes quite literally).  I don't believe contemporary religion, by and large, offers the sacredness of mythic traditions any longer. We live in a very un-sacred world, where the transcendent is despised and discouraged.  As a result, as individuals, we fumble around in the dark, bumping into things, with each other, and losing our way time and time again.  When we encounter an obstacle, we redirect our path, or wage war against the thing blocking us, not realizing that what we perceive as an obstacle to be avoided may actually be a stepping stone that prepares and propels us along the journey.  As a result we are often doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over, or become stuck in one one place.  We shake our fists in the air and shout "Why me?" Why this again?" "What did I do to deserve this?"

I have spent the last week resisting such fist shaking, only to find my thoughts going there anyway.  To avoid a complete about face or an all out personal war, I instead sat with this discomfort.  It has not been easy.  Not at all! The need to know where I am going is powerful.  The desire to be informed and to be reassured that I am making the "right" choices puts knots in my stomach.  Finally, at some point, I let go of knowing what is ahead.  Instead I wanted to just be where I was.  I realized it was doing no good for me to insist on looking ahead when I really wasn't clear on where I was at the moment.  Oh, I had IDEAS, but what did I really understand? So I asked, Where in this mythic structure do I find myself? 

Once I identified where I was, the need to know what to do next did not seem to matter so much.  Interestingly, I discovered the journey doesn't move until I actually stopped at each point along the way.  Trying to skip ahead or accelerate the journey seemed only to stall or set the journey back.  When I allowed myself to accept where I was in this Hero's Journey, I felt the anxiety and worry diminish.  I realized that what was motivating me was the fear associated with the stage I had come to.  Fear can be a powerful resistant force for many of us.  But often we learn that Fear is like the shadow of a bunny--much bigger and darker than the truth.  Fear can always be a hurdle to get over, no matter how big or little the truth it is masking actually is.  However, I have learned that fear is often nourished my by own anxieties. When I reduce the anxiety, the fear seems to become more manageable. Funny how that works.

Do I know now what is to come now?  Not specifically.  But for the moment it doesn't matter.  What matters is I am addressing the issues at hand, which has little to do with the many choices facing me at this particular crossroads.  Once I move through the particular stage of the journey I find myself at now, I suspect the choices before me will be irrelevant.  I may even have moved on from the crossroads without even realizing, the choice being made simply by addressing the current task.   This is the fascinating thing about using myth as guiding tool.  When you open up to the lessons myth can offer, signs and symbols appear all around, to help you along the way.

I highly recommend exploring one's personal path through a mythic lens. It doesn't matter if you use Campbell's outline as he describes it,  mix it up somewhat or if you use Jungian psychology, the tarot, or some other tradition.  What matters is having a tool that offers deeper insight into the active role that myth can play in your life.  When, at times like we are experiencing now, where there is so much confusion and uncertainty, where fear fuels blind action and reflection and insight are obscured by anxiety, it is comforting to have a guiding light.  This is not easy work, but well worth the effort.  Having insight into your journey certainly beats wandering around blindly in the dark.

DoAn
Help in the creation of art, please consider donating! Just click on the link below:
 
DoAn Art is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the purposes of DoAn Art must be made payable to Fractured Atlas and are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.  
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All artwork, photos and text © Copyright 2005-2011 DoAn Art (Antony Galbraith) unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Antony Galbraith.

A Necessary Retreat

Sunrise in Braintree, VT

I am now sitting amidst the fog-draped mountains of Braintree, Vermont.  The sun is rising fast, Thayer Brook runs rapidly over rocks recently deposited from the deluge caused by tropical storm Irene.  The leaves are changing colors, almost right before my eyes.  It is a lovely setting to be in.

This weekend I will be attending the Vermont Sheep and Wool Festival in Tunbridge, VT where I will be taking a spinning class and immersing myself in all things fiber.

With the arrival of the New Moon, I have decided to spend the week before the festival to do some much needed inner work and contemplation on the direction of my creative career.  It seems I have come to a crossroads and before I just blindly move on, I believe it's necessary to take a moment and access the various options. I may end up choosing the path intuitively, but I want to be sure I am clear and centered when the time to choose comes.

Thayer Brook Road, Braintree, VT

One thing I will be doing this week is exploring the role of myth in this creative journey.  How might mythic stories (ancient and personal) play a role in guiding me forward?  What stage of the journey am I at now? What might be ahead and how should I prepare? How might I help invite ritual into my life and what role can ritual and sacredness play at a time like this?

Questions like these are crucial to my development both personally and creatively. Lately, I feel as though I have not allowed much room to ask these questions.  Sometimes I believe that society has been designed so that we don't ask them, as though, knowing one's self or one's path is something to be avoided.  But I am not fond of fumbling in the dark (for too long), and I most certainly not in favor of treading upon someone else's path.  We are each given unique skills and talents that give our life purpose, and I believe, when we live in accordance to our soul's purpose, we live a successful life.  Once in a while, a slight course correction is needed, and that is where I am now.

September in Braintree, VT

So, I hope in another week or so I will be able to share with you some insights on what comes next for me. Afterall, even though we may be walking our paths on our own feet, we all share the experiences and insights with each other.  Despite how we might feel, I don't believe that we are each an island all to ourselves, but more like facets of one big complex jewel. Each face appears separate, but really cannot exist with the support and structure of all the others.  It is my hope that learning about my journey will help with yours.

More to follow...

DoAn
Help in the creation of art, please consider donating! Just click on the link below:
 
DoAn Art is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the purposes of DoAn Art must be made payable to Fractured Atlas and are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.  
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All artwork, photos and text © Copyright 2005-2011 DoAn Art (Antony Galbraith) unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Antony Galbraith.